epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
