please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
