I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize