whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize