I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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