If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize