I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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