I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
