Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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