Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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