you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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