it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
