flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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