he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
