Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
