Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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