yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
