So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
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