I cockslap morals
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I will pee on everything he values.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
