Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
