just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Barsexuality is the new black.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
