I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
