i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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