Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
