walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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