it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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