Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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