why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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