You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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