Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
