I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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