my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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