You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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