I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
