this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
