Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Mom said you looked used
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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