mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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