Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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