I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Randomize
