So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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