Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
