Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
