Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You can't motorboat a personality
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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