OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize