Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
