Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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