In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So squirting runs in the family.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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