Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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