it hurts more in the daytime
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
