Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
