Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize