Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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