super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
