why didn't you poke me back
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
