Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize